Responding to 360 Degree Feedback

By Marcus M. Mottley, Ph.D.

360 Degree feedback methods help employees receive performance feedback from supervisors, direct reports, peers and in some cases, customers. According to some experts, the most helpful feedback comes from observers who focus on the behaviors and skills of the person seeking the feedback.

The general purpose of the 360 Degree feedback is to help each individual gain insights of how he or she is perceived by others regarding their strengths and weakness. The goal of course is not just to have many different persons rate another person’s performance… but for that person to use the information to increase their performance, productivity and overall effectiveness.

For the past several years, I have coached many executives through this process and have seen a variety of responses to the feedback they receive. In a significant number of cases, individuals receiving such feedback have problems handling the difficult and sometimes unflattering responses that are offered by colleagues and others.

I was recently asked by someone who is going through this process to advise them on how to handle this difficulty. In response, I have developed a list of guiding perspectives and suggestions.

Perspectives & Suggestions:

• Do not look at the feedback as criticism. These comments are another person’s perceptions about you.
• These are how other people see, hear, smell taste and experience you as you interact with them.
• Do not engage in trying to guess who said what and why they said it.
• You do not have to be defensive. You do not have to explain. Just take it in.
• Do not see the feedback as malicious remarks from people who do not like you.
• Irrespective of their intentions, they have done you a great service. They have told you what you did not know or what you may have avoided knowing or facing.
• They have revealed their inner reactions to your personality, to your communication and to your interactions with them.
• Understand that what one person has revealed… there may be many others who privately agree. Now you know what has been hidden from you.
• They have educated you and opened your eyes. Now you must open your ears. And, you must open your heart.
• You can never again be in denial with regards to how these persons are impacted by you or how they perceive you. You can never again say that you did not know.
• The key is this: What will you do with their gift to you?
• Will you be defensive? Will you draw a line in the sand and say, “I did so and so… because…. I am like this… because you don’t really understand me… because you were not really listening to me… because I did not mean so and so… you really misunderstood me… blah blah blah…”
• Or will you say… “Well, I have a lot of work to do – to change how am perceived… to make my intensions more clear.”
• “I will communicate more effectively to reduce how I ‘rub people the wrong way.’” “I will reduce my abrasiveness…”
• “I will enhance my ability to lead, to motivate, to influence and inspire.”
• “I will demonstrate more of my ability to listen and understand others.”
• “I will demonstrate that I can take advantage of these insights… this information and that I can change in positive ways.”
• “I will not hold onto ‘who I thought I was’ or ‘what I thought I was doing’.”
• “I will now set goals in order to change me first.”
• “I have the capacity, the ability and desire to change to be better… not bitter; to grow, learn and develop – not defend!”

Those are my thoughts on the attitude that is needed to derive the greatest benefit from critical feedback of others.

What are your thoughts? Give me some feedback: mpowerme@speaktrain.com

Do You Have High Blood Pressure?

By Marcus M. Mottley, Ph.D.

There are times when we turn a blind eye to the realities of what’s happening in our lives. We consciously or unconsciously avoid asking the key questions that we should. We become comfortable with personal and professional conditions that are much less than optimal. As things decline, rather than make small adjustments, we accept the deteriorating situations and do nothing. We allow things to get worse and to move slowly towards disaster until it is almost too late to make a comeback.

This was the case with an executive who I was coaching. He had just turned 50 years old and ‘suddenly’ realized that his blood pressure was 140/90. Five years ago, his blood pressure was 125/83 and apparently had ‘quietly’ increased steadily. Over the years, he had resisted exercising and changing his diet. According to him he was ‘too busy’ and too focused on ‘living life’ and fulfilling his career dream. He had put on 29 pounds in five years… and those pounds were in the wrong places!

These were subtle, gradual, creeping changes which now, five years later, were still not enough to persuade him to be overly concerned. That is, until I got him to project and track these changes five years into the future. I got him to understand his life backwards and forwards so that he would have a life – today and tomorrow.

And so I asked him, “If you continued to do the things that you have done over the past five years, and based on the rate of progression over that time period, what might your weight and blood pressure (and health) be five years from now into the future?”

Though he was resistant and slow to respond, the answers to that question gradually shook him awake, and he began to look more closely at his past and current activities. Those answers jerked him (still somewhat reluctantly) into planning and implementing (minor) lifestyle changes which he could easily and painlessly integrate.

Once we recognize that negative shifts have taken place in our lives, it behooves us to decide how we will respond. Ask yourself: If I continue to do the things that I have been doing, what will life be like in one year? Two years? Five years?

Ask questions. Hear the answers. Take action! Those are the three keys of personal and professional transformation.

View Change as Challenge!

By Marcus M. Mottley, Ph.D.

Are you experiencing troubling or difficult changes on your job, at home, in your social life or in your community?

Do you see these changes as tragedies, trials or tribulations? Or do you see them as calamities, catastrophes, or unnecessary complications?

What is your response to these changes in your life or circumstances? Are you reacting in anger, fear or hostility? Or are you only irritated, frustrated, or mildly upset? Are you stressed out and threatened by the changes which you are anticipating or those which have already occurred?

In one of my keynotes on how to successfully deal with change: Change Your Life & Keep The Changes You Desire – One critically important strategy that I share is that we should "View Change as Challenge!"

Here are a few steps on how to do reframe “Change” into “Challenge”

First, remember this too shall pass. Think clearly about what this means. I regularly tell myself that “It is night now. Yes, it is dark. Yet, morning will come. Light will come.” That does not mean that I only wait for the morning. Yes, I will bring my own light to the issue… And, I know – that eventually – things will change. For the better!

Ask yourself... What can I change in myself? What can I do, now, that will allow for me to have a different reaction to this change? What about me can I change or adjust so that I can empower myself.

Rephrase the “the problem” into a “challenge” and then into a positive opportunity.

“There is in the worst of fortunes the best of chances for a happy change.” Euripides.
“Some men see things as they are and say ‘why?’
I dream things that never were, and say, ‘Why not?’” Robert Kennedy

Convert fear, anger and other limiting emotions such as worry, anxiety, despondency, denial or avoidance into positive energy. Energy means action. Action means doing something positive that will help to alleviate your stress and empower you to act purposefully – moving you toward a well-defined goal.

Analyze the situation. What is the problem? Look at solutions....What can you do now? What can you do later? Who can you turn to for assistance? Who has had a similar situation like this? What can you learn from them?

Act calmly and persistently. What ever you do – take decisive and relentless action! Do not stop until you have successfully handled the situation.

Don’t stop! Do not stop after you have successfully deal with the challenge! Now you must take action to fortify yourself to prevent this particular issue from becoming a “problem”! This may mean: keeping your resume updated; starting your job search today; establishing a home-based, part time business; building new and more supportive relationships; getting rid of the toxic relationships in your life; starting an exercise program, changing your nutritional habits, and supplementing your diet with vitamins and minerals; Examining your “Globe of Life” and developing a personal vision and mission for specific areas.

Whenever you are faced with “change” you must view it as a “challenge” – an opportunity to do something different that will lead to you having more personal power.

Ask yourself empowering questions. Seek creative solutions. Knock and take decisive and relentless action.

Marcus M. Mottley, Ph.D. is a speaker, executive coach and clinical psychologist. He is the author of Ask, Seek, Knock – an inspirational masterpiece which focuses on how individuals can achieve success by asking the right questions and taking decisive actions. He can be reached through his website: www.SpeakTrain.com or e-mail at mpowerme@SpeakTrain.com

Giving Up Too Soon!

By Marcus M. Mottley, Ph.D.

Have there been times in your life when you felt like you wanted to give up – thinking that you had tried everything – exhausted your energy, your resources, or even your patience? You may have even postponed, or put on the back burner, projects that you did not quite achieve in the time allotted or to the degree of success that you had desired.

No… I am not talking about dreams and goals that you have had, or unfulfilled New Year resolutions. I am speaking about projects and tasks that you had actually started.

I had always wanted to publish a book. No… not write… publish. You see, I had already written several books over the years, but could not get over the hurdle of getting someone – anyone – to publish any of my books.

Yet, I had met several authors, most of whom had the same story… They spent years writing their book. Then, they spent several frustrating years trying to find a publisher. Yep. That was my story.

But their story had a different ending. They found a publisher. How? Everyone had a different solution for finding a publisher. Yet, they all shared one thing in common… perseverance. They never gave up.

Such perseverance is particularly common among famous and very successful authors:

• Louis L’Amour, successful author of more than 100 western novels with more than 200 million copies in print, received more than 350 rejections before he found a publisher.
• British writer John Creasy received 774 rejections before he was able to publish his first story. He went on to write 564 books – using 14 different names.
• Dr. Seuss’ first children’s book, And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street, was rejected by 27 publishers. The twenty-eighth publisher Vanguard Press sold 6 million copies of the book. All of his books went on to sell a total of more than 100 million copies.
• The first Chicken Soup for the Soul was rejected by 123 (33 in New York, and 90 in Anaheim) publishers. Eight million copies of that book has since been sold, and 53 million copies (and counting) of the thirty-three title series have been sold world wide.
• Early in his career, Alex Haley, author of Roots, received one rejection letter every week for four years.

One of the authors whom I interviewed on the way to my first published book, Ask, Seek, Knock - shared the following story with me. I hope that it will inspire you or someone to whom you will have passed this newsletter to.

A man meets a guru in the road. The man asks the guru, "Which way is success?"
The bearded sage does not speak, but points to a place off in the distance.
The man, thrilled by the prospect of quick and easy success, rushes off in the appropriate direction. Suddenly, there comes a loud "splat."
Eventually, the man limps back, tattered and stunned, assuming he must have misinterpreted the message. He repeats his question to the guru, who again points silently in the same direction.

The man obediently walks off once more. This time the splat is deafening, and when the man crawls back, he is bloody, broken, tattered, and irate. "I asked you which way is success," he screams at the guru. "I followed the direction you indicated. And all I got was splatted! No more of this pointing! Talk!"

Only then does the guru speak, and what he says is this: "Success is that way. Just a little past splat."

Whether your project involves writing, building your career, or improving your performance and productivity… success lies just beyond the point at which you felt like giving up… or just beyond the place where you fell down… or just beyond the next bend in the road…. Just a little past splat!

Success is that way. Keep going.

Marcus M. Mottley, Ph.D. is a speaker, executive coach and clinical psychologist. He is the author of Ask, Seek, Knock – an inspirational masterpiece which focuses on how individuals can achieve success by asking the right questions and taking decisive actions. He can be reached through his website: www.SpeakTrain.com or e-mail at mpowerme@SpeakTrain.com